Insigni's blog

The neurophysiological dynamics of understanding each email

message are very complex. From that complexity, three basic

phases float to the top that you will want to become

familiar with. I like to label these: (1) the association

phase, (2) the connection phase, and (3) the reaction phase.

Let us look at each of these, and how the writer and reader

can assume a more active role.

In the Association Phase, the sender’s words are read and

converted to an image in the reader’s mind, optimally the

same image the writer held in his mind. Sometimes, the

writer’s words lack enough information and the recipient

cannot grasp the image. The word count has nothing to do

with the creation of an image. I have read long emails that

dance around any possibility of creating an image even if

the recipient could read between the lines.

The first question I ask myself when receiving an email is:

“Is what they are saying giving me enough information so I

can form a clear image?” If not, I ask, “Am I in an open

space at the moment to translate this image?” Sometimes,

when pressed for time or there’s too many thoughts swirling

in my head, the space isn’t available. If not in the right

space, I move the email to a “to be read later” subfolder,

and schedule a follow-up time to reread.

Later, after returning, and in a good space to reread, and

the image is still not appearing, I send a reply email to

the sender asking for clarity. My language usually goes

something like this: “Thank you for your email. I have read

it several times and can’t seem to form a clear image of

what you are asking. Could you please ask again in a

different way so that I can give it my full attention and

respect it deserves?”

If the email covers several subjects that were confusingly

intermixed, I will also include some additional language

like this: “When I write emails with various topics, I find

it beneficial to create separate topic titles that focus on

what comes next. Could you possible do this to add to the

clarity?”

It is the sender’s responsibility to convert their image

into words. The right words that the reader can transform

back into the same image given. Don’t take on the writer’s

responsibility, or make assumptions, it only leads to

miscommunication. If you do, the image they form of you

will be off kilter and negative.

The Connection Phase. When writing your response, you will

want to make sure the reader receives a clear image of what

you are sending as well.

This means that your words need to match the return image

you want to convey. If the topic is about apples, you do

not want to add an orange in the middle of the apple image.

Match apples to apples first because that was responding to

the original image.

If you need to add an orange for topic support, place the

information after the apple discussion in order not to

distort the original image. This lets the receiver digest

the apple and then tells them that another image is about to

come. Their mind will prepare the space for the new image.

When offering the orange, tell them the purpose of the

orange and why you are adding the image. This way the

reader knows to open a new file.

Another question I like to ask myself, after writing and

before sending, one you might like to use, “Will the reader

be able to file the image I’m sending in the same folder

they began with?”

Our brains file information just as if we were dropping

files in a filing cabinet manner.

Instead of just telling the reader, show the reader the

image, and what folder to tuck their image in. The reader

is expecting this answer. If they don’t receive it, they

wonder what to do with the image, it doesn’t match any file

in their cabinet. This splits their focus, slows down their

connection, or can even halt the connection in toto.

I am sure you have your own favorite topic transition

phrases; here are seven of my own. When you give these

transition phrases a line of their own, the receiver’s brain

acts quickly to note an orange is coming.

1. Let me guess what you might be thinking.

2. As odd (unusual) as it may seem…

3. I am not at all surprised.

4. There’s a story that goes with this, and I will get to

this in the next paragraph.

5. Let me see if I can make this a little easier.

6. Its hard to believe, but…

7. In other words,…

The Reaction Phase. Writing an email response is not the

same as speaking to that person. You don’t have the

immediate feedback from their body language, their silence,

or huh when it isn’t clear. Connecting via email with its

time lapse also causes difficulty. You experience the same

thing when you call, leaving a voice mail, and the party

returns your call days later. If you don’t state in the

voice mail what you are calling about, or the person doesn’t

restate the purpose when they call back, your mind takes

moments looking for the appropriate filing cabinet and file.

Sometimes I receive a response back several weeks later and

the original email I wrote isn’t included. Then I must stop

think or even hunt for the original email. A very time

consuming process.

I find it best to begin a returning response with a “this is

where we left off” paragraph. Don’t assume the reader still

holds the previous image in their mind. They don’t. Many

images came and went during that space and the previous

email sits in their in box, file folder, or cabinet or worse

dismissed due to lack of connection, in order to continue

their processes.

It is important to reread the email before hitting send.

Not just for grammar or spelling but to see that you convey

the right image. It is the time to ask, “Did I convey the

appropriate image with a file folder connection?” If yes,

hit send.

(c) Copyright 2005, Catherine Franz. All rights reserved.