The Impact of Divorce on Families

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I see the devastating effects that breakups can have and am dedicated to helping people develop the skills to cope with experiences like divorce.

Major Disruptions

The decision to divorce causes major changes in the lives of all family members. Some upheaval is inevitable. The main trouble areas are:

1. Financial: Money becomes a huge problem for most people. The cost of a divorce is extremely high, and two households cost more than one.

2. Career: Being less focused at work and spending time away from the job for divorce-related appointments takes its toll.

3. Logistics: Running your home is more difficult because you no longer have a partner to help with daily chores.

4. Emotional: Most people have periods of depression, sadness, anger, and fatigue.

Lots of Feelings

People who are experiencing the breakup of their marriage can expect to have a wide variety of feelings. Some call it “the crazy time” and there is even a book about divorce with this title. The following complaints are common:

• Poor concentration

• Nightmares

• Sleep problems

• Fatigue

• Mood swings

• Feeling tense

• Nausea

• Gaining/losing weight

• Feeling nervous

• Somatic complaints

Divorce profoundly affects children. In Surviving the Breakup, author Judith Wallerstein describes the experience of 60 divorcing families. She outlines the following key issues for children of divorcing families:

Fear: Divorce is frightening to children, and they often respond with feelings of anxiety. Children feel more vulnerable after a divorce because their world has become less reliable.

Fear of abandonment: One-third of the children in Wallerstein’s study feared that their mother would abandon them.

Confusion: The children in divorcing families become confused about their relationships with their parents. They see their parents’ relationship fall apart and sometimes conclude that their own relationship with one or both parents could dissolve, as well.

Sadness and yearning: More than half of the children in the Wallerstein study were openly tearful and sad in response to the losses they experienced. Two-thirds expressed yearning, for example: “We need a daddy. We don’t have a daddy.”

Worry: In Wallerstein’s study, many children expressed concern about one or both of their parents’ ability to cope with their lives. They wondered if their parents were emotionally stable and able to make it on their own.

Over half of the children expressed deep worries about their mothers. They witnessed their mothers’ mood swings and emotional reactions to the events in the family. Some children worried about suicide and accidents.

Feeling rejected: Many children who experience a parent moving out of the home feel rejected by the parent. The parent is usually preoccupied with problems and pays less attention to the child than in the past. Many children take this personally and feel rejected and unlovable.

Loneliness: Since both parents are preoccupied with their problems during the divorce process, they are less able to fulfill their parenting roles with their children. The children may feel like their parents are slipping away from them. If the father has moved away and the mother has gone off to work, the children often feel profound loneliness.

Divided loyalties: The children may (accurately) perceive that the parents are in a battle with each other. The children feel pulled in both directions and may resolve the dilemma by siding with one parent against another.

Anger: Children in divorcing families experience more aggression and anger. It is often directed toward the parents, expressed in tantrums, irritability, resentment, and verbal attacks. Many children see the divorce as a selfish act and feel very resentful about the resulting destruction of their lives.

More than one-third of the children in Judith Wallerstein’s study showed acute depressive symptoms such as sleeplessness, restlessness, difficulty in concentrating, deep sighing, feelings of emptiness, compulsive overeating, and various somatic complaints.

The symptoms that many children may have during the divorce process either moderate or disappear within 18 months after the breakup. Of the symptoms that remain, the most common are:

1. Manipulative behavior was reported by about 20% of the teachers of the children in Wallerstein’s study.

2. Depression was diagnosed in 25% of the children and adolescents. The symptoms of depression in children include:

• Low self-esteem

• Inability to concentrate

• Sadness

• Mood swings

• Irritability

• Secretiveness

• Isolation

• Self-blame

• Eating disorders

• Behaving perfectly

• Being accident-prone

• Stealing

• Skipping school

• Underachieving at school

• Sexual acting out

You should consider finding a therapist to work with if most of the time you feel:

• Alone

• Depressed

• Numb

• Exhausted

• Isolated

• Hopeless

• Overwhelmed by your children

• Overwhelmed by your feelings

• You are sleeping too much or too little

• Worried

• Anxious

• Afraid

Once Again Women Dating Online

Maybe you are just placing yourself out there again after a separate up or just after getting a separate from relationship because you were discouraged. Maybe you have been relationship with little achievements for a while, but regardless, you are still doing it and questioning why these men don’t keep around. Are they all responsibility phobic? I uncertainty it. Intelligent females relationship again know all about how egg connect with relationship.

I know a lot of men looking women go on one or two schedules and then they begin dealing with getting rid of their account from the relationship website they met or they begin anticipating continuous get in touch with etc. In other thoughts they begin performing the function of sweetheart or prospective sweetheart really easily.

I can’t depend the variety of women dating that I have experienced who quit relationship all other men after just a few schedules. I telephone this placing all their egg into one bag, his. We all know this really is ridiculous. I mean where are his eggs? Are you sure he is placing his egg in just your bag after one date? I uncertainty it.

Now let’s think about this egg element. You have been on a few schedules, and you shut the home on all other possibilities to provide this guy seeking women opportunity. You just put all of your egg in his bag. Wow! Suppose. Here he is now holding all of your egg. He begins considering, oh my, what if I decrease the bag and they all separate. What if I get worn out and don’t want to take around this bag of eggs? In other thoughts, you just presented with down him a big liability.

Most on an emotional level balanced men meet women don’t want the liability of holding around all of your egg, not so soon anyway.

To Honor and Build Trust in Your Relationship

“One Way To Honor and Build Trust in Your Relationship and

Each Other”

There are things in every relationship that are sacred. One of these

things that we think is most sacred is the trust that can be

developed if both people in the relationship honor that thoughts

and feelings, whether they are of a positive nature or negative,

will be shared first with each other.

Here’s an example from our own lives to show you what we mean…

Both of us, in our previous relationships, felt the need to talk to

friends and not always our spouses about what was really on our

minds. We often chose to tell our inner most secrets and frustrations

to our friends and omit this information when we talked with our

spouses.

Although this wasn’t the primary reason both of these relationships

ended in divorce, we think that it was one way that trust was eroded

and not built in those relationships.

When we got together in our relationship, we figured out that if we

hoped to have a relationship built on trust and deep connection that

this type of intimate sharing with others was a pattern of behavior

that had to stop.

If there was conflict, disagreement or challenges that came up, we

agreed that we would talk to each other instead of venting our frustrations

with a friend or co-worker. This was our sacred agreement with each

other.

We just love Bruce Springsteen’s song, “If I should fall behind”

because it says exactly how we have chosen to be in a relationship

with each other. In the song he says, “Let’s make our steps clear

so the other can see.”

To us, this means telling the other person what we are thinking as

soon as we have sorted it out ourselves. We don’t feel like we have

to hide or sugar-coat our truth about a situation or unload on a friend

how we are truly feeling without first telling each other.

This doesn’t mean we never talk to friends and other family members

about our thoughts or what’s happening in our lives. Quite the

contrary.

What we are saying is that we have agreed to tell each other first,

things that are personal and feelings that come up about the other

person.

If you find that you have been complaining to other people about your

partner or someone close to you and you are not telling your partner

how you are feeling, stop.

By talking to others first about your issues instead of the person

involved, you will continue to erode the safety and trust in your relationship.

By talking to others about your issues instead of the person your conflict

is with, you could be playing the role of the victim or martyr.

Believe it or not, you may actually be enjoying the sympathy and

attention from other people that you are getting from complaining

about the situation with your partner.

If you want to build trust and create a close, connected

relationship, we’ve found that this kind of behavior has to stop.

Choosing to let your partner know where you stand and what is

going on inside you is not only a way to build trust but also a way

to deepen your connection as well…

Simplest Way To Find Women

Now, I strongly believe that battle does not play a key position as to whether to find asian women will time you or not. For example, when I was in classes and institution, I old a Taiwanese Person for Several years.

Sometimes however, dating Oriental Ladies can be challenging for find women dating men outside of the Oriental national historical past because many Oriental Ladies have a more common sex position. What I mean is that even if the Oriental Person is fascinated to you, she will not time you if her mom’s or dad’s plan of a friend for her is of the same battle. I met so many Oriental Ladies in the past that would never time an Man.

This was not because they have no destination to find local singles it is because asian Ladies regard the opinions means where to meet women and men and recognize what their mother and father tell them. Well, most do. I know several Oriental Ladies that will not time outside of their battle. In fact, once I requested a The far east young lady out and she said no because I was not The far east.

The key to meet guys acquiring asian person for marriage is simple. You must find local women free oriental ladies that are revealed to more common western lifestyle, if you are from the Joined for example. Otherwise, if you are from Indian and want currently an Oriental Person that is recognizing of you,

The Monogram Theme Wedding

Monograms are a huge trend in weddings, to the point where they feature strongly in some, and in others, provide the actual theme. And what’s not to like about monograms? They’re elegant, understated, versatile, and a dramatic visual reminder of your new life together.

Ideas for including monograms

You’ll find them popping up in more and more places throughout the reception, and sometimes even prior to it. Here are some ways that brides include monograms:

- embossed, stamped or printed bridal stationary

- custom postage stamps (see funstamps.com)

- stationary seals or stickers

- painted aisle runners

- printed bridal bouquet ribbons

- bridal underwear or garter

- bridal handkerchief

- accent to bridal train, veil or gown

- ring bearer’s pillow

- stamped or printed out-of-town bags

- bridesmaids’ totes

- guestbook

- engraved guestbook pen

- tablecloths

- chair covers

- place cards and menus

- cocktail napkins

- coasters

- centerpieces

- engraved cake server set

- cake embellishment

- wood, wire, metal, chocolate or acrylic monogram cake topper

- monogram wreaths of silk or real flowers

- fabric wall or door banners

- champagne flutes

- bottled water labels

- “tears of joy” packs

- monogrammed wedding favors: cookies, ornaments, shot glasses, votive candles, chocolates, petit fours, notepads, favor boxes

- dance floor “gobo” projections

How do I get a monogram?

You make it! Many brides find they can “roll their own” using a readily-available software program such as Microsoft Word or PowerPoint. If you’re a graphic designer or have access to high-end tools, you’d probably prefer Adobe Illustrator, but Word or PowerPoint are also fine. If you’ve played around but don’t like the results, call on an arty friend.

To design your monogram in Microsoft Word:

Choose Insert -> Textbox. Type and format the letter the way you like it. Do this three times.

Now click on all textboxes and choose Format->Textbox.

Choose Color: No Fill (so you can overlap letters) and Line: No Line.

Select all letters, right click, and choose Group to lock in the arrangement.

You can now copy your image into Microsoft Paint and save in several formats, such as JPEG.

To design your monogram in PowerPoint:

You’ll want to use “Word Art” to create your letters. Click on the blue tilted “A” on the bottom toolbar for each letter. Format them to your liking. When you’re done designing, select all the letters, right-click, and choose Grouping->Group. Now you can click on your image and right-click for Save as Image. PowerPoint lets you save directly in formats like JPEG, PNG and TIFF.

Some more design tips:

The bride’s initial goes first in a monogram. When the bride takes the groom’s last name, the order is: bride’s first initial, shared last initial (usually larger), groom’s first initial.

If the bride keeps her own last name, one option is four-initial monogram (bride’s first, bride’s last, groom’s last, groom’s first). Or just join the couple’s first names with an ampersand (Jenny & Mike).

Some etiquette tips:

It’s somewhat frowned upon to use your couples monogram before you’re actually married. So, your reception’s clearly a green light, but you might want to skip using it on your invites. The ceremony itself is sort of a Ms. Manners gray area. Some brides uphold the spirit (if not the letter) of the “law” by including the monogram in a not-so-public ceremonial spot, such as a garter, or inside the dress.

Of course, these being modern times, some brides just include the monogram wherever and whenever they want.

DIY monogrammed aisle runner

It’s not hard to create your own monogrammed aisle runner, and it makes a big splash. If you have a sewing machine, you can buy and hem the fabric for next to nothing. Now you just need some fabric paint in black or your wedding colors, a pencil, an exacto knife and some cardstock. You also need to decide where you want to place the monogram. Some aisle runners feature a monogram at the bottom, where the procession begins; the top, where the couple stands; and in the middle.

Print out your monogram and blow it up to your desired size on a copying machine. (If your aisle fabric is on the sheer side, you can now trace your monogram directly onto the fabric with pencil. Fill in with fabric paint, and you’re done.) Otherwise, tape the enlarged monogram onto the cardstock and cut out the shape with an exacto knife. Trace inside your new template lightly with pencil. Fill in with fabric paint. Follow the same procedure to make your own monogrammed table runners or even chair covers.

The dance floor monogram

A dramatic and memorable way to include your monogram is to project it onto the dance floor during the reception. As fun as this is, though, it’s not cheap and sometimes not easy. To project a monogram, you need to buy a custom metal plate, called a “gobo.” Custom gobo manufacturers are easily found online. The gobo itself usually costs over $100, but once made, you then need specific lights equipped with a pattern holder to use the gobo. It’s possible that your venue, or your DJ, will be able to provide these lights or help you locate a place from which to rent them.

A final tip

Now that you have some ideas for incorporating monograms in your wedding, remember the essence of elegance is restraint. It’s easy to overdo monograms, so mix them up contrasting touches, such as soft and romantic floral arrangements, to warm up the monogram’s cool and classic feel.

CyberCheapskates and Net Gold Diggers

Did you know that Match.com has around twelve million members, but only a million or so of those listed have paid their dues?

The most asked questions from Romance Clients? “Why don’t they answer my emails?” Well, first off, you don’t know and never will. But it’s a pretty good guess is that this guy or lady is cheap.

If you have had much experience as an Internet dater, you’ve undoubtedly had the experience of putting out first email contacts to prospective Sweetheart and then gotten no answer back. A response rate of 30% to first emails is considered good!

On Match.com as well as many of the other Internet dating sites, you can post a profile for free, but you have to pay to email other listers or respond to emails sent to you.

You can’t tell the payers from the freeloaders. And people who aren’t paid members can’t email, either to contact you first, or to answer when you write. That means that a very high percentage of those people you are carefully looking over are too cheap to pay less than a dollar a day to be able to email you!

Maybe that’s a lot of what’s behind the 30% who do get back to you. They’re the only ones who are paid up!

Though I live now in Mississippi with my new husband Drew, I’m from Maine. I still own a house there on a beautiful island in the mid-coast area, so I get back to visit once or twice a year. Every spring, after the snow melts, all the debris that has accumulated over the winter along the roadsides gets exposed to the light of day. And along with tulips and daffodils, up spring the “For Sale” signs.

For years I wondered about why so many houses came up for sale every spring. Every other house seems to be on the market.

Finally, someone explained to me that lots of folks just put out those “For Sale” signs sort of for sport. All the locals know that summer people are heading this way, and those “city folks” have very distorted ideas about fair property values. So the sport is to put out a “For Sale” sign, ask a very inflated price, and see if anyone will bite. If you’re lucky and catch a rich one, you just may be able to fund your retirement. Otherwise, life goes on, you get to stay in your house, and then try again next year. Sounds like a form of digging for gold to me.

Believe it or not, lots of people who are listed on dating sites are doing just that: They put out their “For Sale” sign with their profile and look like they are seriously “in the market” for a Sweetheart. Really, they have a way over-inflated idea of what they can get and are waiting to see if some fool will bite. These folks have stuck out their “For Sale” sign, but they aren’t seriously looking. Except for the jackpot.

In the Internet dating world, this is deceptive advertising in the worse way, because the reader has no way of knowing if the profiler they are interested in is really serious and a paid-up member or not. The ONLY people on these online dating sites who are emailing anyone are the ones who have paid! All the others are freeloading teases.

If you are considering CyberRomance or are already posted on a site or two, pay your dues like a grown-up. Do your part to contribute to the energy and integrity of this wonderful resource for singles. If there’s a time to “put your money where your mouth is,” this is it. If you’re serious, pay up. If you’re not serious, stay out of the game.

The SURGE of the URGE!

Have you ever heard the expression, “The Urge to Merge”?

It is a term relating to sexuality and marriage. The “URGE” symbolizes sexual interest, and the “MERGE” symbolizes marriage union.

We see it all around us!

Late night TV bombards us with sexual images and sensual content. Commercials that have nothing to do with sex use a sensual foundation to market to the masses. More than ever in history our minds seem to be more interested in the sex-drive channel than in channeling the sex-drive.

We call this, “The SURGE of the URGE”.

Let’s travel back in time about sixty years before we became so technologically advanced and started opening up the bedroom door for anyone with an appetite and “prying eyes”. Many of the older generation know of what time I speak! Back when some things were still considered sacred and “The SURGE of the URGE” was yet in the future.

It used to be that life was about marriage and family principles. It used to be that faith and family were the criteria for determining life success. In other words, it was about the “MERGE”. Family and relationship building principles for living was the norm.

Then came The Beatles, Elvis, Rock-and-Roll and yes, Hugh Hefner and Playboy.

Gradually our society began to shift its thinking and embrace a mindset for the “URGE” itself. The sexual revolution stepped onto the horizon, and “The SURGE of the URGE” was born and became the focus.

Sadly, and to our demise I might add, the “MERGE” has been placed on the shelf and in many cases mocked and ridiculed.

For over fifty years now we have been a world dominated with a fascination for the “URGE”.

Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Strip Clubs, Porn Movies, Girls Gone Wild, Spring Break, Wild On, etc. The Music Industry lyrics display this same “URGE” mentality and, of course, let’s not forget the recent Halftime Super Bowl antics.

We even went through a time in recent history where the “URGE” became the main topic of conversation surrounding the Presidency of the United States.

Maybe, instead of just enacting and enforcing laws and high-dollar fines…maybe, instead of just issues of censorship…maybe, instead of just battling it out in the boardroom and courtroom…maybe we should do something so foreign as to go back to the shelf, dust off the idea that marriage and family life is where it’s really at and get our focus back on the importance of the “MERGE”.

Being wanted for a “Night of a Lifetime” can never fully satisfy, fulfill or replace the greatest longing of our hearts for being wanted for a “Lifetime of Nights”.

Let’s all consider taking the “MERGE” down from the shelf. Marriage and family life will always play the greatest role in our civilization.

The greatest gift we will ever give the world is a stable home.

(C)Copyright 2004 Stanley J. Leffew

All Rights Reserved!

Dating Tool: Confidence 101

I’m over it. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea,” they say. Well, apparently I have been using the wrong bait. Nobody said dating would be easy, but Hollywood sure likes to paint it that way, doesn’t it? “There’s someone for everyone,” they say. Maybe that ought to translate to, “There’s someone for everyone….as long as you’re a muscled pretty boy with washboard abs, and at least 6 feet tall.”

So how does one get by this unsettling dating stipulation? Are we actually to believe that love will find us when we’re not looking? I think people who say that are normally in happy relationships when they say it. Can we “buy” outer beauty from an online store to match our own inner beauty? Somebody is buying pheromones and weight-loss pills and liposuction and facial restructuring. Hell, now people even get plastic surgery to make them look like a celebrity. Huh??? And you know what? I bet these things work for people. As long as it can build the confidence up in someone, it also strengthens the attraction. So how can we build up that confidence without spending tons of money to people who know how the game works? Sounds like a question for the shrink.

I suppose its all part of why I started up a matchmaking service with a friend of mine in Los Angeles. It can be so frustrating out there. And being “alone” can only make your work day more stressful, it seems. So if I had someone to do the dirty work for me….get me the dating connections, counsel me on why I might not be getting that second date, maybe my frustration level would decrease. So I went into the business….pretty much as a means to find out what can be done to find the perfect one.

OK, so nobody’s perfect, but at least maybe I can find a decent one who happens to have similar ethics as myself. Oh, and a killer sense of humour is mandatory. But looking around, nobody was going to help me, a fact that made me feel even more alone! So I had to do it myself. Such is life, right? Part of it might be that I feel a need to always be in control of my own destiny. As long as I am actively pursuing something, I am a success. Yea, that sounds right! So I joined forced with my cohort and we started Let’s Meet Here. Now I’m gonna’ find the one, right?

Wrong!

As it seems unethical to date my own clients (damn, I knew I’d run into some roadblock!), I figured….at least pass on any information I can gather to those who need it (and baby, we all need it!). Granted, I am learning about all this stuff now. It seems every date and every relationship is completely unique. There is no list of do’s and don’ts that applies. But I do know that going into the business has allowed me an increase in confidence that is apparent in me without my even having to think about it. I am starting to really believe that success comes from the active pursuit of a goal, whether or not the goal is achieved. The process in itself builds character…and character is attractive.

So while I learn as I go, I will show as I go too. It is absolutely within my own power to be a success. And the pursuit of achievements is an achievement of its own. However, I have also learned that a little is never enough. And to settle after one’s success is no success at all. Maybe now I’m fishing with the right bait!

Wedding Rings – Through the Ages and for All Eternity

The exact origin of the wedding ring is uncertain and is rife with superstition and mythology. Papyruses dating back to the ancient Egyptian civilization depict wedding rings, and historians credit the land of the Pharaohs with originating this tradition. Engagement or betrothal rings were in use as far back as prehistoric times, but the wedding ring is a relatively new tradition, and unlike the engagement ring, is steeped in religious ritual.

In ancient times, accepting a wedding ring constituted a legally binding agreement between husband and wife. The wife became property of the husband, a holding of sorts. It also represented protection to the wife–a protection against challengers seizing her legal and rightful position in a power grab.

Early Egyptian wedding rings were simple circular bands, crudely crafted from indigenous materials such as hemp and reeds. The lifespan of the average wedding ring was approximately one year. It’s a safe bet that the average marriage outlasted the average wedding band, since the eternal circle signified eternal love and devotion. The circle also represented the joining of two halves to create a whole. The hole in the center symbolized the gateway to the unknown–the future. Wedding bands of ivory, leather, and other sturdy materials were crafted by those who desired a more permanent token of eternity.

Metals replaced the earlier hemp and reed wedding bands. The early Romans moved to lead, while other civilizations chose brass and copper. Eventually, gold emerged as the metal of choice. In fact, early Irish couples insisted on gold, as any other material was thought to bring bad luck at best, and constitute an illegal marriage at worst. For couples unable to afford gold wedding bands, gold wedding rings were secured for the service and returned immediately afterward.

Early crude designs were adorned with semiprecious metals in an attempt to disguise the handiwork. The color of the stones also held significance. The red ruby signified the heart, the blue sapphire signified the skies and the heavens, and the rare diamond’s indestructible nature signified the indestructible bond of marriage.

Fit played an equally important role in the realm of superstition surrounding the wedding ring. The fit had to be perfect. Too loose a fit would lead to a sloppy marriage, carelessness, and even cause the couple to grow apart. Too tight a fit would doom the couple to a suffocating, painful marriage.

In ancient times, wedding bands occupied the third finger on the left hand just as they do today. The significance of the third finger was the belief that the vein in the third finger, the “vena amoris,” led directly to the heart. This was a thought propagated by the Egyptians and adopted as truth by the ancient Greeks and Romans, until later disproved.

Even after the discovery that there was no vena amoris, the custom of wearing the wedding band on the third finger survived. Early Christian marriages included a ritual that landed the wedding band on the third finger: As the priest recited, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the holy Ghost,” he took the ring and touched the thumb, the first finger, and then the second finger. When he said, “Amen,” he placed the ring on the third finger, sealing the marriage. The wedding band has occupied the third finger into the 21st century, except for a short period during the Elizabethan era, when whimsy decreed that the wedding ring reside on the thumb.

Double-ring ceremonies gained popularity during World War II as young soldiers shipped off to war. The token of the marriage contract took on new sentimentality during those troubling times, and that custom remains intact today. Ceremonies differ, vows are often unique, but the tradition of the wedding band has survived through the ages, and probably will–for all eternity.

8 Reasons Why Your Man Isn’t More Romantic on Valentine’s Day

What is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year is too often a source of disappointment and frustration instead of joy for thousands of couples.

Valentine’s Day usually brings expectations for women who are in a relationship. They may anticipate gifts of chocolates, romantic cards, and secret reservations in trendy restaurants.

Instead many men have psychological blocks that keep them from being more romantic. Consequently these men may do little or nothing special for their partners for Valentine’s Day.

The reasons male partners have trouble with romance include:

1. A man may not be aware of how important romance is to his woman. He may not fully appreciate that men and women have different needs in this area.

2. Some males simply don’t know what to do. A man may not have seen his father model romantic behavior when he was growing up. Consequently he never developed courting skills.

3. The man might simply be lazy. He may have lapsed into complacency in the relationship and assumes that he doesn’t really have to do anything extra to keep the relationship going.

4. Some men have trouble expressing feelings. They may carry around unresolved anger toward their partners. Anger can turn into resentment and passive aggressive behavior toward the woman.

5. The man may be struggling with addictions. Compulsions like alcohol or drug abuse, sexual addiction or gambling provide an escape that lets him avoid dealing with the demands of maintaining a successful relationship.

6. A man may feel deprived in the bedroom. He might be thinking “When she’s ready to satisfy me more often, then I’ll be more romantic.”

7. Some partners procrastinate. A husband may put off buying flowers or making a restaurant reservation until it’s too late.

8. The man may be afraid of trying to be romantic. This is particularly true when his woman is often critical of him. In this case, he may think “What’s the use? I can never please her. Why even try?”

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